Back to school...reflections on summer

The girls started school last week - Beatrice in pre-K (where has the time gone???) and Lily in the "Waddler" room. I'm not sure if any of us were ready - we have all cried at some point. I'm looking back at the summer and my time with the girls - it was one of the best summers of my life. I was initially afraid of being a (part-time) stay at home mama. I might get bored, they might bored, we might end up in a tizzy of whines and spilled juice. Maybe it's that the girls are at the right ages. I don't know. But, waking up in the morning, we didn't have to rush to get dressed, eat breakfast, or get out the door. All we had to do was ask ourselves, "what shall we do today?" The beach? The park? The zoo? Definitely the bakery. Always the bakery, maybe twice a day. Who wouldn't want that life to keep going?

Lily has done pretty well transitioning all things considering. She inevitably koala-clings to me when the teacher walks over to say good morning - it's as if she's hoping she can crawl back inside me. But once she is in the hands of the teacher and washing her hands, Bea and I can sneak out the door without more turmoil. Bea's transition back to school has been up and down. I don't think she fully realized the alternative to school until this summer. She LOVED being home with me or with her best-babysitter-ever Haley. She LOVED being free to fashion her day and is now struggling with the constraints of school. Don't get me wrong - Beatrice is not acting out - she will always follow the rules and conform to structure. She is terrified of getting in trouble or doing something wrong and being called out for it. I think she works so hard to conform that she is at risk of loosing her imaginative joy. It will even out as she settles in and learns the routines and I think she'll still get to have moments when she can loose herself in play. I learned a lot about Beatrice this summer - she is such an interesting, kind, sensitive, inquisitive child. She says absolutely every single thought that crosses her mind. My favorite statement of late is, "Let me tell you what I'm thinking about. I'm thinking about fairies." I miss her and Lillian every moment.